Post by snake on Nov 12, 2005 11:33:37 GMT 6
The following quotations are taken from official court records across America, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
* Lawyer: "What happened then?"
* Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
* Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
* Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
* Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
* Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
* Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
* Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
* Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"
* Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
* Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
* Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
* Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
* Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
* Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
* Witness: "That's me."
* Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
* Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
* Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
* Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
* Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
* Witness: "Yes."
* Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
* Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
* Witness: "Four times."
* Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
* Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
* Witness: "Yes."
* Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
* Witness: "None."
* Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
* Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
* Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
* Witness: "Yes."
* Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
* Lawyer: "What happened then?"
* Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
* Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
* Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
* Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
* Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
* Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
* Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
* Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"
* Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
* Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
* Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
* Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
* Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
* Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
* Witness: "That's me."
* Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
* Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
* Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
* Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
* Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
* Witness: "Yes."
* Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
* Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
* Witness: "Four times."
* Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"
* Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
* Witness: "Yes."
* Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
* Witness: "None."
* Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
* Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
* Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
* Witness: "Yes."
* Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
